Cinderella’s Corner was the ultimate of comfort zones. Quoting Rodgers and Hammerstein “In my own little corner, in my own little chair, I can be whatever I want to be. On the wings of my fancy I can fly anywhere, and the world will open its arms to me.” As Cinderella spins her imagination, she meets the prince. She practices what she will say. She imagines all of the sights and sounds and smells of greatness.
Then, in the nick of time, she scares herself into believing it will never be and retreats into her safe, comfortable little corner. Just one comment from her step-sisters, and she’s back to ground zero. “Then I’m glad to be back in my own little corner. All alone, in my own little chair.” It may be lonely in her corner, but it is safe. Safe from daring to do or say or be anything more than she believes she is. Meeting the Prince is O.K. for those other girls who are prettier, nicer, more worthy than she, but certainly not worth Cinderella venturing out of her comfort zone.
How easy it is to complain that we can’t get ahead? To blame all of our failings on everyone and everything but ourselves. It may be a crummy life, but it’s MY crummy life. The fear is that if we step out of our crummy little comfort zone, that even the misery we complain about every day won’t be there for us when we fail (as we know we will). I can be as great as I can imagine a person to be, as long as I don’t have to step even an inch out of my comfort zone.
Sadly, that is the formula for our failures. Wouldn’t it be great to have the dumb luck to stumble into the right place at exactly the right time to get everything we want? I contend that the American Dream isn’t about working hard, building a nest egg, and securing our future by buying a home. The American Dream is to win the Lottery. It doesn’t require much effort, and it never requires us to step out of our comfort zone. But deep down, we know that we are unworthy of greatness and great wealth if we haven’t worked for it.
That is why we hear about people who stumbled into great wealth then ended up frittering it away and finding themselves bankrupt. Having everything we want requires us to step out of our comfort zone, as much working to achieve greatness does. But being out of our comfort zone is such a great fear for most of us, that even in an environment of over-abundant wealth, we race back to our comfortable beliefs that we are not entitled to be more than we are now.
This falling back into our comfort zone also ties into why people spend millions of dollars on self-improvement, self-help, self-whatever, courses and get nowhere. There is always an excuse. My favorite is that Step 2 sucks so, throw away the whole program. It’s much easier to complain that the program was flawed and that’s why it didn’t work than it is to get out of our own way and make the program work.
As long as Cinderella believes she is unworthy of a better life, she will remain in her corner and only dream of what life would be like if she had the courage to break free of her comfort zone. And if you haven’t yet, go back to Post 4 and get yourself a mentor. It’s much easier to step out of your comfort zone when you know you have someone by your side to help ease the pain.
Stay tuned for the Cinderella story Lesson 6 – Visualization is Not Enough.