The best thing that happens to Cinderella isn’t marrying the prince. The best thing is meeting her Fairy Godmother. Yeah, it’s cool that she has a magic wand and can turn a pumpkin into a golden carriage. But it’s the confidence the Fairy Godmother gives Cinderella that helps her see that her dream is more than just some far-fetched idea. Then, she gives Cinderella guidance on how to go after that dream.
If they give her any credit beyond the magic, some people see the Fairy Godmother as a cheerleader, cheering Cinderella on to work toward her dream. But I see her as more than just a cheerleader. I see the Fairy Godmother as a mentor. She’s been around the block a few times. She knows the ins and outs of how the Royal Ball and Royal Suiter systems work. She coaches Cinderella on what to do and what to say and most of all, how to use these tools while being her best self.
Yes, Cinderella has a more ball appropriate dress, but it isn’t the dress that catches the prince’s attention. The dress and carriage and helpers are just tools to help her get in the door, just like you want to dress appropriately for that high level meeting. But then, Cinderella has to be her best self to encourage the Prince into getting to know her better.
I talk a lot about the Old Boys Club. For centuries, men have taken on the role of mentors to younger men getting into their line of business. They introduce them to influential people they know and give them tips on how to get their foot in the door.
Sadly, too often in the female side of business, women are more reluctant to mentor other women. There are still many situations where there are only one or two women in top positions. They feel like or maybe even are the token females that make the company look like they are inclusive. But like so many of us have experienced, there are a lot of companies and board rooms that only take on new females if an old one is going out. Therefore, it doesn’t seem to benefit the existing high level female to share her wisdom with another woman as it may just quicken her departure from that top position.
I was a direct witness to this too many times. My grandfather was a very involved participant in the Old Boys Club mentality. He had introduced many young up and comers to people with influence who could help them. Sadly, these were all men. My senior year of college, he was proud to do the same for me. He had a client who had a daughter in a high level position in the industry I was hoping to enter. He set up a lunch date so she could share some of her wisdom with me and maybe give me some contacts. While I was disappointed with the results of the lunch, he was practically destroyed when the only piece of wisdom bestowed upon me was “You’re going to have to fight your way to the top. That’s what I had to do.” She may have added a “good luck,” but the message was clear. “If I help you, I’m endangering my own position, so do it on your own – like I did.”
It’s the old version of Knowledge is Power – meaning that those with the knowledge have the power. However, I see Knowledge as having the most Power if it is shared, not hoarded. Yes, the men in the Old Boys Club compete with each other for top dog, but they don’t lock the other dogs out. They introduce the younger guys to people and places that can use someone new, where they aren’t threatened by the young one’s success. They give them information and advice that will help them and pat themselves on the back for doing a nice thing.
As business women and entrepreneurs, we need to be sharing our knowledge and helping other women succeed. And if you are younger, my goal is to have this be a safe place to find a mentor. Then when you can pay it forward, be a mentor to someone new. There is also nothing wrong in learning from a male mentor. Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean the information can’t be used to bolster your success. Knowledge IS Power if it’s shared.
One thing that is difficult and easy at the same time is getting the courage to ask for help. Check that out on our next post about Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone.