What Lesson Does Cinderella Teach: Cinderella Was No Bimbo and Neither are YOU!
Can we actually learn things from a Children’s Fairytale?
I believe we can. This blog answers the question: What Lesson Does Cinderella Teach? I am so glad you asked!
In Cinderella’s day, there were only two options, to live a meager existence as a pauper or to be royalty. If you were not lucky enough to be born into royalty, your only hope was to marry into the family. Cinderella, like any intelligent woman, wanted the best. The best was to be royalty, to live in the castle and have all the best life has to offer. Her only way of getting there was by marrying a Prince. The Prince isn’t the goal, he’s the vehicle by which the goal is reached.
Believe me, if Cinderella had the great choices we have today, she would have been just as determined to reach the top without relying on Prince Charming to help her get there. We have so many more choices today and most of them have little to do with whether or not there is a man in the picture. Finding Mr. Right is NOT going to save your life, or make you something you aren’t. Mr. Right will complement your life and your search for the best. But we all know that living in the castle may ultimately be no fun without Prince Charming as your soulmate. (Ask recent additions to the world’s most famous Royal family.) That complementary relationship is a piece of the dream. The whole dream is to find the best within yourself to have the best of everything.
Take a look at the characters and see how they match up with modern life.
Cinderella– She’s a hard-working young woman who does what she’s supposed to do to get ahead. She follows the rules and conventions for a woman of her time. She dreams of great things if she were in a different situation. But like many women today, she believes that those dreams are destined to remain unreachable.
Cinderella’s Corner – This is her comfort zone. As long as she hides in her corner, she’s o.k. She doesn’t get hurt, but she doesn’t achieve greatness either.
Evil Step-sisters – These are the cranky people we meet everyday. People who are so dissatisfied with their own lives that their only joy is in putting others down. After all, if they can make someone more miserable than themselves, they feel better about their unfulfilled lives. Their power over Cinderella, is that she lacks the self-confidence to get past these negative influences to see her own real strengths. She’s much too quick to believe the bad things they say. She doesn’t see the weakness and insecurity displayed by their evil behaviors.
Evil Step-mother – Like so many nay-sayers in the world, she has a powerful hold over Cinderella. She’s the ultimate dream stealer who will cut down any idea Cinderella has of bettering herself and her situation.
Cinderella’s Father – He is an ineffectual man who has no influence with people of stronger personalities. Out of love for his daughter, he encourages her not to step out of her comfort zone. Not that he doesn’t truly want the best for his daughter. He just doesn’t want her to be hurt. He, like so many well-meaning people in our lives, believes that the pain of accepting our lot in life is less painful than the potential fall if we reach for more and don’t quite make it.
The Towns People – These are the hoards of people who live their lives day in and day out without thinking of how to improve the quality of their lives. They are happy just to exist. They believe they are not meant to have more, so they don’t even bother trying. Complaining about how bad things are takes no challenge. It is the easy way out for the majority.
The Fairy Godmother – She is Cinderella’s mentor. She sees that Cinderella has an innate Princessness within her that needs to be brought out for Cinderella to achieve her dream.
The Prince – As I said before, the Prince is not the End. He is the means by which Cinderella can get to her dream. He is the vehicle that has the potential to bring Cinderella the life she wants. Just like Mr. Right is a part of a happy and fulfilling life, he is NOT life itself and can’t make all of our troubles go away just by being in our lives.
The King and Queen – When you find Mr. Right, he comes with baggage. We have to look at all aspects of the person including his family and background. Yes, your relationship is with the man, but he has been influenced all his life by what has happened in his family. Don’t be fooled that he’ll automatically throw off everything that came before you. Remember, Prince Charming’s family loves him and wants to find him the perfect Mrs. Right. If they were interviewing potential brides for the Prince, would they choose Cinderella?
The Castle – This is the goal. To have the life you’ve dreamed of. To have the home and possessions you know you deserve. To have the loving and fulfilling relationship you desire.
Let's look at the storyline.
Cinderella works hard at everything she believes is necessary. But in the comfort of her corner, she dreams of what life could be like. Just as long as she’s in her own little corner, she’s safe from the potential pain of trying something different.
What things do you hide from in your corner? Are you avoiding answering the perfect personal ad? Is there a job in another area that offers more potential for the life you want and the Mr. Right? Do you have trouble doing the things you know would make you the Mrs. Right the Mr. Right is looking for?
One day, the opportunity Cinderella has been waiting for arrives. The Prince is having a Ball to meet all the eligible young women who might come live in the castle and have her dream fulfilled. Cinderella dreams of what it would be like to go to the ball. She even mentions her dream to her step mother and sisters. “You want to go to the ball?” they chide her. “What in the world would you do there with so many other, more appropriate women there?” Her step mother tells her not to bother since surely one of her daughters is the better choice to get her dream. Cinderella believes them and retreats to her corner.
Sitting there, Cinderella imagines what she would have done and what she would have said if she had been brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and go to the ball. Luckily for her, her fairy Godmother has been watching her. “Snap out of it Cinderella,” the fairy Godmother commands. “You have everything you need to be a great princess. You just need some tricks of the trade to let the world know that you are the perfect choice for the Princess job.”
The fairy Godmother provides Cinderella with some valuable tools. In Cinderella’s day, the tools were pretty simple. She needed a beautiful dress, a great hairdo, a coach and driver and of course, fabulous shoes. Just like you have to dress for success and depend on yourself for the rest. Cinderella had the tools that gave her confidence to let the world see Princess hiding inside.
Now most of us aren’t lucky enough to have our mentor pop up just when we need her. We may even have to seek out a mentor. That is someone who does or has what we want. We learn from her experience. You may even start with some of the multitude of great books and tapes available. Make sure to choose only books that help empower you. Don’t waste your time with anything or anyone who will be negative about your dreams.
So Cinderella goes to the ball. Armed with the proper tools Cinderella became the princess she truly was. By using these tools, the world could see the princess that had been hiding in her comfort zone. Cindy had a great time at the ball. She said and did the right things. But her time was short and she had to leave early. On the way home, she rehashed the evening and forgetting all the fairy Godmother had taught her, she fell back into her old patterns. She picked out every tiny thing that she imagined had gone wrong. She slipped back into her little corner where she was safe.
We do this all the time. After all, the reason our dream stealers are so powerful is because we are our own worst dream stealers. It’s times like these that we need to call on our mentors to bring back our belief level. If Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother reappeared she would have said something like…”Snap out of it Cindy. The Prince isn’t calling you because you forgot to leave your business card! Step out of your comfort zone and make contact!”
“But I’ve already done that and I don’t live in the castle,” Cinderella lamented.
“Do it again, and again and again until you reach your dream,” Fairy Godmother would say.
S when Cinderella heard that the Prince was looking for her, she debated and delayed and found a zillion reasons why he couldn’t possibly be looking for her. Then, she took the chance, stepped out of her comfort zone and the Prince immediately recognized her as his one true love.
Most of us believe the story ends here, with Cinderella living happily ever after in the castle. But in truth, this is just the beginning. Every triumph brings along new challenges and new reasons to step out of our comfort zone to achieve another piece of the dream.
So let’s learn the true meaning behind Cinderella’s story.
Reach for the best there is in life, in all parts of your life.
Be the best you there is.
Figure out what is great about you that would make you Mrs. Right.
Use your strengths and find a mentor to help develop the tools you need to bring those strengths out.
Remember that you have innate Princessness inside you.
Read the books, listen to tapes, learn from those around you, but most importantly, take a chance on you.
Step out of your corner daily and you will build the base to achieve your dreams.
For more, Join us to Learn about Ten Things We Can Learn from the Cinderella Story.